It's empty. A house. A room. Another room. I've been here before. Too many times. Now tears dried inside and out. No more pearls to leave it out. The anguish still rusting away. The salt still eating away at the wound left festering. I want to be better than this. I want to be stronger than this. Not just some stoic quick fix.
The pendulum swings from left to right, side to side, counting the hours and minutes and seconds ticking away. Like an old man in a wheelchair, gazing across the empty green, longing, yearning. Wanting. Waiting.
Images of a laughing living room. TV ablaze, water boiling. Random questions and guesses at play. Life at large, an imaginary fireplace. I could go find another you. Another set of teeth to sink into. Another similar ground to tread on. But it's not the same.
The scent of you has left the floor, the building. I can't remember how it goes. All the rhythm and drama, the annoying fan in the other room. I wish I was never here. Never crossed your mind. Never fell into your line of sight. I wish I could disappear and you would forget me. That it would be so much more convenient. All this resurfacing. Things you can do without. I would remove every postcard I sent you. Take down every moment that remind you. Burn away all my hopes and dreams. Fade into the night so I can get out off the back of your mind forever. I never intended to be your distraction. That little annoying kid brother. I never wanted to take up space. I never would have let my heart be moved to lay it down for you. Why am I still so naive to love with all my heart and soul?
Take this breath from me and let me sleep and never wake. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.
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